I’m Cassandra. I’m a self-taught “recovering” wedding photographer with a decade of experience following my artistic wild.

But let’s preface this…

I was born in sunny southern California, and was raised a true California girl. I was a child of divorce, but gained an amazing step-father along the way. Shortly after Frank came into our lives, he was in a motorcycle accident and became paralyzed from he neck down. My mother became a full-time caregiver and I became a very protective little girl seeking inclusivity & understanding. They married after the accident and we lived in a tiny apartment in Buena park, CA all becoming acclimated to our new normal.

When I turned 9 my mother and step-father moved to a TINY, like 850 people, TINY town in northwest Missouri. We followed my grandparents & their retirement to a 40 acre non-working farm. With limited options & funds, they believed this would be the safest and most stable option for all of us. This transition was one of the most difficult times, but also one of the most pivotal, and likely one of the main reasons I am an artist today. 

As a very emotive and feeling child, I always had a passion for the arts. I remember borrowing my moms old film camera when we moved to the farm. I took photos of anything & everything around me… my barbies, photos hanging on my wall, my cat, self portraits… The creative inspiration on the farm literally abounded around me, and was my saving grace. As an only child, I found peace & fulfillment in the wide open land, my horses, goats, cats and dogs, constant dance, music and art. Life on the farm was pretty picturesque, however socially, life was far from it. When I started school in that tiny little town, it was clear we didn’t fit in, and likely never would. People were cruel, and my idea of what small towns were changed. Instead of acceptance and warmth the majority of the town seemed shrouded in judgement and fear. I retreated to my land of creation. 

When I became a teenager, I begged my parents to buy me a “real” camera, but as my moods so quickly changed, they thought it a phase. Still using my Mom’s film camera, I’d walk those 40 acres foraging flowers, or whatever I could find and would use myself or a close friend as a model. I still have some of those early Cassandra Castaneda originals lying around somewhere and the thought of this makes me laugh.  I found myself becoming immersed in writing poetry & stories. I became mesmerized with films and music with magical, witchy and enchanting themes. I adored period pieces, fairytales and clothing that lent themselves to both. 

I didn’t think I was “artistic” at this age. I thought an artist was being a painter or a sculptor and I was neither, just ask my art teacher. I was actually embarrassed by my art. I couldn’t draw, and hated that my concepts always appeared more abstract and messy than all of the other girls in my class. It’s funny how as teenagers we begin to believe we are who people tell us we are… However, I still felt creative… I was in the band & later choir, I loved dance & cheerleading and so enjoyed design and yearbook. Visits back to California to my very expressive, charismatic & musical father, whom I adored, felt like an entirely different life all together and those visits were a welcomed reprieve from the small town ‘smallness’.

I grew up and finally got out of that little town. I went to college and had grand fleeting ideas of joining the dance conservatory of a nearby school, but lacked the courage. So, I joined the dance team at my local college instead. I loved children, so assumed I’d go into education. 

I met my husband quite randomly at 19 and fell in love. His unyielding support gave me confidence I had always lacked and I actually began to believe I could do the things my self limiting beliefs told me I couldn’t. I transferred to The University of Missouri - Kansas City, and found a place I felt I fit. I found so much joy in women’s studies, english lit & writing courses. I specifically remember one professor, Muffy, playing a significant role in planting a seed that began to unveil who I was. She was unabashedly herself and assigned literature and provoked discussion that challenged my entire belief system.

My husband and I married in 2006. I graduated from UMKC with a liberal arts degree and we moved to San Diego 2 years later. I was living in one of the most beautiful places in the country, but felt uneasy; I didn’t know who I was. Every job I found was a means to a paycheck and I felt unfulfilled and not really great at any of the jobs I chose. I didn’t understand or agree with the concept of working a job I hated until I was old and gray. I wanted freedom. I wanted joy. I wanted to create. 

A friend back home in Kansas City had recently launched her photography business, and I intuitively knew this was something for me. She encouraged me to do it and my parents finally gifted me that “real” camera. We moved back to Kansas City in 2010, to start a family, and I began my photography career;  the rest is history. I couldn’t have dreamt up the career I created for myself, but I guess that’s exactly what I did. 

It was a few years after our daughter, Isla, was born that I began to feel restlessness surrounding photography. I was missing time, weekends, and moments and more surprisingly I felt creatively stifled and unfulfilled. I fought creative burnout with passion projects here and there, but was apprehensive. I had packed myself into a box - the prim, proper & professional wedding photographer box - and felt If I were to create the moody & ethereal themes I had been seeing floating around in my head, I would scare off new clients and confuse my existing ones. The thought of moonlighting as an artist just felt completely ridiculous to me too; I was a photographer, not an artist.

As quickly as I became a wedding photographer a decade ago, I definitively recall the quick yet almost silent pivot from photographer to Artist. This artistic path began with one shoot titled Wild Woman. A past client and friend modeled for me. My goal was to portray this wild woman as her unabashed self in power & gentleness with a haunting undertone. After that shoot, I began to explore my wild woman within. Who was I, truly? I felt as though I was on a creative train chugging full steam ahead. The more I created, the more creative I became, and with each completed piece I stripped away a layer of who I was not. Work just flowed from me and it was almost euphoric. I was excited. I was fulfilled.

A year later, my father unexpectedly passed away. The train came to a complete halt. I became nervous and began to question everything. I talked myself out of believing art was a career I could actually pursue and began to focus on the stable route… I found a studio to hone in on creating dramatic and painterly portraits for clients. I was proud of this work; it was beautiful & unique; But, it wasn’t where I was meant to be.

Which brings us here…

I ditched my commercial studio January 1st, 2020 as I no longer need the crutch & title ‘photographer’. I am an artist. I am here to create art that sets my soul on fire.